My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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