I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
