this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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