I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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