We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
