i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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