I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
