me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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