Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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