Its about making memories worth repressing
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
