Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
