sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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