Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
