Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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