dude i'm inner monologue high
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
