Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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