Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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