he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
