Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
