why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
