just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He uses pillows to masturbate.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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