don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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