You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
