OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
