did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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