When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
