I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
