Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
