My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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