No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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