So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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