if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
