Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
