you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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