cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
