For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
