Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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