as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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