Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
