not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
