I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
