New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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