what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
