i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
