I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How does it feel to date your dad?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
