return my video game
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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