Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
