you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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