I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
