I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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