Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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