I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
