so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
