she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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