Your tits are I can't wait for
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
