I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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