Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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